Genesis 3: 4-9
“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
Ok, so have you ever felt like you made a mistake and was just extremely embarrassed afterwards? You feel ashamed and you start to tip-toe around because you feel like you’re not worthy of doing what you’re doing or simply being you?
I have, multiple times, and the pattern seems to repeat itself endlessly despite my heart’s desire to follow God.
Here’s one of my many examples.
A couple of weeks ago, I was on Periscope trying to talk about my goals for the week. If you haven’t been following me on Periscope, a few of us try to gather up to do #AMScope. It’s when we talk about our goals for the week and pass the scope to others in the community.
I’m not sure what had happened in the Political realm that day, but something must have happened. So many trolls came on my scope and found out I was a Christian. Next thing you know, they started asking questions trying to get me to answer them, pressuring me to talk about my opinions on gay marriage. Some even said what does ______ say? Sure enough, some were ‘believers’, trying to get me to refer to the bible and be condemning to others. But that’s not who I am nor what I’m for.
Anyways, after several minutes of pressure and questions from all directions, I slipped and took a bite. They got me. A question picked at my frustrations and I fell into it just like they had hoped. This started a scope that not only misrepresented me despite my intentions, but also misrepresented Christ. Mind you, this was all live! With several of my audience watching probably wondering what is going on with me and why I’m entertaining these trolls.
I did my best to keep my composure, but I promise you, my insides were all racked up.
I immediately felt ashamed during my scope. And afterwards, a huge part of me didn’t even want to get on Periscope anymore! I questioned whether I’m fit for God’s calling. I questioned whether I was enough to just be His daughter.I questioned whether I’m fit for God’s calling. I questioned whether I was enough to just be His… Click To Tweet
I mean, I was over here thinking, God I failed you! Why would you ever want me to share things about you? Why would you ever want me to represent you and your being when I can’t even keep my composure on a social media app?!
I was so frustrated and ashamed, I just wanted to hide in my room with my blankets covering me. It wasn’t the trolls that made my inside squirm. They were just triggers. It was feeling ashamed, guilty, and just plain out unworthy. It was an internal battle.It was feeling ashamed, guilty, and just plain out unworthy. It was an internal battle. Click To Tweet
If I could, I probably would have tried to run away from God!
Well this is exactly what happened to Adam and Eve. The enemy had used a question to prick on something that they battled with internally or made them raise a question and he tempted them with that to make them feel ashamed. The moment they were ashamed, they felt unworthy of being seen by God that they hid! Ugh, just hearing that story reminds me of how I felt. It’s definitely a nasty feeling that tears you apart. It makes you feel like you can’t even be you. It makes you feel like you’re not accepted. It makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
And that’s exactly how the enemy wants us to feel because if we start to feel that way, then we will be like Adam and Eve, hiding and running from God!
But here’s the beauty of it. Yes, God acknowledged their sin and they did have to face the consequences, but God himself was the one who looked for them and seeked them out. Notice in verse 9, it says.
But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?
God initiated the reconciliation. He didn’t wait til Adam and Eve were comfortable enough to come out. He didn’t nag them or condemn them. He didn’t try to make them feel ashamed and say ‘What have you done?!’ No, instead, His first response was to call out to His children. And this story needs to be something we remember in the forefront of our mind because if we forget how much God is actually calling out to us first, then it’s easy swim in the pool of shame.If we forget how much God is actually calling out to us first, then it’s easy swim in the pool of… Click To Tweet
Here’s the thing. The enemy will try to use shame to cripple you. The Lord convicts and redeems us to give us the desire to be transformed and be more like Him, but know that shame isn’t from the Lord. Instead He’s actually calling out to you because of how much He loves you. So if or when you make a mistake in your life, business, or ministry, just know that God still calls you His daughter. That God still wants you and God will and can use your mistake for His glory as long as you get back up and keep following Him in obedience.
The mask of shame can keep you from your destiny. Voices will constantly whisper, “You should live guilty, ashamed, embarrassed. Look what you’ve done.” But the price has already been paid. You don’t have to pay God back. You don’t have to live guilty and condemned. God has mercy for every mistake you’ve ever made. – Joel Osteen
To end the story of what happened in Periscope, I ended up making an apology in public and man, was that hard. I’m not saying this to say look at what I’ve done. No, I’m saying this to let you know how painful that was to my pride. It hurt to put myself out there and bluntly say how much of a mistake I made and that it was necessary for me to apologize publicly otherwise it can taint the whole image of other Christians and misrepresent Christ.
It sucked. To be real. It hurt.
I hated it at the moment. I wasn’t sure what other people were going to think. I still don’t know what is going to come out of it, but I guess the one thing I know came out of it is to let other people know that I’m just as human, I’m just as frail and I’m just as flawed as all of you. I’m far from good, and I promise you I couldn’t even have the courage to do anything without God. Because I squirm with every post. I squirm with every ounce of’ ‘transparency’ or possible ‘vulnerability.’
I hate it because you never know who is going to say what. But at the end of the day, we’re here not to reflect us but God’s work in us. So if you fall, get back up. Let God pull you out of your hiding spot and instead run to Him. Shame is not from the Lord and He will never cripple you with it. Instead, He will use your mistakes for His glory.
He still loves you. He still wants you. And He’s still going to use you to build His kingdom.He still loves you. He still wants you. And He's still going to use you to build His kingdom. Click To Tweet
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